***Potential mild spoilers***
Raptor Ranch appears to be something of a homage to Jurassic Park, in the sense that if you let a monkey paint with his own faeces he might paint something by accident that vaguely resembles a Rembrandt. I really like dinosaur movies, probably because of my fascination with dinosaurs when I was a child. Jurassic Park was a movie that made a big impact on me, primarily because at the time the special effects were jaw dropping amazing. Raptor Ranch unfortunately was so utterly dreadful not even my love of dinosaurs and dinosaur movies could make it bearable.
In the town of Fossil Ridge in Texas strange events are occuring. Cattle are getting killed and a woman has recently disappeared whilst in a wooded area. Meanwhile three young men are going on a road trip in order to go sking. They run of petrol and are forced to push their car to the nearest petrol station. Whilst at the petrol station they meet Abbi, the daughter of the disappeared woman. Of course there is no petrol left. Whilst they stand about the rest of the idiots that form the characters in this movie arrive in a "tour bus". Long story short, all the victims have arrived. Now they set off to a local Ranch and thou and behold the ranch owner has somehow managed to create dinosaurs in his tool shed. Through stupidity of the highest magnitude the dinosaurs get lose and the killings start.
Jurassic Park was made back in 1993, Raptor Ranch was made in 2013, but the special effects used in 1993 are much more realistic. The CGI dinosaurs in Raptor Park are extremely unconvincing as is their interaction with the physical environment of the movie. The plot is just nonsense, a rancher cooks up some dinosaur DNA whilst tinkering with bird DNA, as you do. There is a sub plot involving FBI agents that goes nowhere. Most of the characters are there to provide victims, whilst the band that arrive on the bus are, I think, meant to provide comedy relief. This is not a funny movie, not even unintentionally funny. The dialogue is dreadful, and the female lead puts in a very unconvincing performance.
I really did not enjoy this movie and I am struggling to think of any positves I can take away from watching this abomination. There is some realistic gore in the movie but to be honest considering how bad the movie is it just is not worth watching in my opinion. The only brief glimmer of a positive was the scene where two characters were running through a factory, one of them spots a bike so jumps on and rides it.
2 out of 10 (the bike scene saved it from a 1)
Summary: spend your time doing something else other than watching this movie, you could look for fossils in your garden, you probably won't find any, but it would be more interesting.